How to Plan a Funeral: The Complete Checklist

A calm, ordered path through the first 48 hours, the arrangements, the service, and what comes after — including who in the family does what.

If you are reading this in the first days after a death, start with one reassurance: almost nothing on this list has to happen today. A funeral comes together in a week or two, in dozens of small decisions, and no single one of them will make or break it. This checklist puts those decisions in order so your family can take them one at a time — and share them out, so no one person carries everything.

The first 48 hours

1. Get a legal pronouncement of death

If the death happened in a hospital, hospice, or nursing facility, staff handle this. If it happened at home under hospice care, call the hospice nurse. If it happened at home unexpectedly, call 911 — paramedics or a medical examiner will make the pronouncement. Nothing else can move forward without this step, and it is never yours to do alone.

2. Tell the people who need to hear it from a person

Immediate family, closest friends, and anyone who would be hurt to learn the news secondhand. Divide the calls: one sibling takes aunts and uncles, another takes family friends, someone else calls the employer. You do not need a script beyond "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this." Wider circles can wait for the obituary or a memorial page.

3. Arrange care for anything left behind

Pets, an empty house that needs locking, medication that should be secured, perishables in the fridge. Small things, but they nag at grieving people. Assign each one and let it go.

4. Look for pre-arrangements before deciding anything

Check for a prepaid funeral plan, a letter of wishes, a will with funeral instructions, or notes from an earlier conversation. Veterans may be entitled to burial benefits and military honors. Ten minutes of looking can save the family from re-making decisions the person already made.

5. Choose a funeral home and arrange transport

The funeral home will transport the body from the place of death — hospitals and hospices can hold the body briefly while you choose. You are allowed to call two or three and ask for their general price list (in the United States, they are required by law to provide it). Choosing on one phone call is normal; so is taking a day.

6. Request death certificates — more than you think

The funeral home usually files the paperwork and orders certified copies. Ask for 10 to 12. Banks, insurers, pension offices, and utility companies each want their own, and re-ordering later is slower.

Who does what: dividing the work as a family

The single most useful planning decision is naming roles early. Grief makes committees slow and tender; small clear jobs keep everyone moving and included.

• The coordinator — usually the executor, spouse, or eldest child. Makes final calls, signs contracts with the funeral home, keeps the master list. One person, not three.
• The communicator — writes the obituary, sets up the memorial page, answers the "when is the service?" texts so the coordinator doesn't have to.
• The service builder — gathers the order of service, readings, music, and the program; recruits speakers and pallbearers.
• The keeper of accounts — tracks costs, collects contributions from family, notes every flower delivery and casserole for thank-you notes later.
• The gatherer — collects photos, finds the outfit for the burial or a display, hosts out-of-town family.

Write the roles down where everyone can see them. Families using the NancyWell family planner keep the program, guest list, memorial page, and thank-you tracking in one shared place, which quietly prevents the classic failure mode — three people each half-doing the same job.

Days 2–5: the arrangements

Burial or cremation

If there are no written wishes, this is the coordinator's call after listening to close family. Neither choice limits the kind of service you can hold: cremation can still come with a full funeral and visitation beforehand, and burial can be followed by a simple graveside gathering only. Decide the disposition first, because it drives the timeline — burial usually happens within a week or so, while cremation lets you schedule a memorial weeks out if far-flung family needs time to travel.

The arrangement conference

You will sit down with the funeral director to choose the casket or urn, the dates, visitation hours, transportation, and services. Two protections worth knowing: you may bring your own casket or urn without a handling fee, and you may decline any package item you don't want. Bring one other family member — a second set of ears, and someone to say "we'd like to think about that" when needed.

Cemetery, plot, and permits

If burying, the cemetery is a separate purchase from the funeral home: plot, opening and closing fees, and a grave liner or vault if the cemetery requires one. Headstones can wait months; many families order them after the estate settles.

Budget, gently

Funerals range from a few thousand dollars for direct cremation with a memorial to five figures for a full traditional burial. The kindest budget conversation happens before the arrangement conference, not during it. Decide the ceiling as a family, and remember that the measure of a funeral is never its price.

Days 3–7: planning the service

Shape the service

Most services run 45 to 75 minutes and follow a recognizable arc: music as people arrive, a welcome, readings or prayers, the eulogy and any open remembrances, a closing, and a committal at the graveside or a benediction. If your family belongs to a faith tradition, the officiant will supply much of the structure; if not, a celebrant or a steady-voiced family member can lead. Our guide to the funeral order of service walks through the sequence element by element.

The eulogy and other voices

Choose one main eulogist and, if you like, two or three short additional speakers with a gentle time limit (three minutes is plenty). Ask speakers early — writing takes days, not hours. If the person writing it is staring at a blank page, NancyWell drafts a personal eulogy from a handful of gentle questions about the person, which many families use just to get a first honest draft on the page.

Music, readings, and flowers

Two or three pieces of music is typical: something as guests arrive, something reflective in the middle, something to carry people out. Confirm whether the venue has a musician, a sound system, or neither. Choose one or two readings — scripture, a poem, a passage the person loved. For flowers, one family arrangement near the casket or photo is enough; the obituary can direct others toward a memorial donation if the family prefers.

The program

The printed program is the one thing nearly every guest takes home. It holds the order of service, the participants' names, a short life summary, and a word of thanks. Start it three or four days before the service so printing isn't a scramble — our guide to what goes in a funeral program covers the sections and layout in detail.

Obituary, invitations, and the memorial page

Publish the obituary (or a memorial page announcement) as soon as the date and place are fixed — guests need several days' notice, more if they are traveling. A memorial page with an RSVP spares the family from tallying attendance by text message, and gives distant friends a guestbook to write in even if they cannot come. Newspaper obituaries are charged by the line; many families now run a short notice in print and put the full obituary online.

Reception and practical details

• Book the reception venue — a family home, church hall, or restaurant — and arrange food, even simply.
• Confirm pallbearers if there is a casket: traditionally six; grandchildren and friends both serve beautifully. Honorary pallbearers can be named in the program without lifting anything.
• Arrange a guest book, a photo display or slideshow, and easels or frames.
• Plan childcare or a quiet room if many young children will attend.
• Decide about livestreaming for those who cannot travel, and test it the day before.

The day of the service

Arrive an hour early with a small kit: programs, the guest book and pens, photos, tissues, water, printed copies of every reading and the eulogy (speakers forget theirs), and phone numbers for the officiant, musician, and funeral director. Appoint two greeters who are not immediate family to hand out programs and point people to seats. Then let the funeral director run the mechanics — that is what you hired them for. Your family's only real job today is to be present.

After the service

The first two weeks

• Send thank-you notes for flowers, donations, food, and special help. Short is fine; our guide to funeral thank-you wording has examples for every situation.
• Return borrowed items, settle the funeral home invoice, and collect the death certificates.
• Update the memorial page with photos from the service and a note of thanks to those who came.

The first two months

• Notify Social Security (the funeral home often does this), insurers, banks, pension providers, and the post office.
• Begin probate or estate administration with the executor and, if needed, a lawyer.
• Cancel subscriptions, memorialize or close online accounts, and forward mail.
• Order the headstone or decide where ashes will rest — there is no deadline on either.

And for yourselves

The busyness ends abruptly about two weeks after the funeral, and that is often when grief truly arrives. Check on the coordinator especially — the person who held everything together usually deferred their own grieving to do it. A planned family dinner a month out, and again at the first holidays, does more good than any checklist item above.

The condensed checklist

1. Pronouncement of death; notify close family personally
2. Check for pre-arrangements and written wishes
3. Choose funeral home; arrange transport; order 10+ death certificates
4. Assign family roles: coordinator, communicator, service builder, accounts, gatherer
5. Decide burial or cremation; hold the arrangement conference; book cemetery if needed
6. Set date, venue, officiant; publish obituary and memorial page with RSVP
7. Plan the order of service: eulogy, readings, music, pallbearers
8. Build and print the program; arrange flowers, reception, guest book, photos
9. Day of: arrive early, bring the kit, appoint greeters, be present
10. After: thank-you notes, notifications, estate, headstone — and rest